Another new beginning???

I have found some other ways to be creative. Thank you Jesus!! I am totally stuffed and I only had 307 calories total today. I tried to eat more, but this was great. I didn't go hungry.

Tonight I am feeling more positive than I have in a long time. I took fat free cottage cheese, processed in food processor until as creamy as possible. In half of it (two servings) I blended up one serving of strawberries, added some stevia and red wine vinegar. It will be one serving protein, half a fruit, so I will eat on lettuce with a half serving of strawberries for a full meal. To the other half I added a serving of apple sauce that has only apples in it, some stevia, cinnamon and touch of nutmeg. That I will eat with half an apple on the lettuce or possibly even cabbage. I also made taco meat for taco salad. Taco seasoning has sugar in it, so I made my own from scratch. Chili powder, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, onion flakes, red pepper flakes, cayenne pepper, salt and cumin. Oh, and tiny bit of stevia. Seemed to bring something out in the flavors. Will eat on lettuce with a little salsa to add some added fluid and flavor.

Doing this gave me hope that I can do this. If I can be more creative I can do this. Only 307 calories for the day and not hungry.... AWESOME!!! Just need more water, but it is bed time, so unless I want to PEE all night, I may be short on it today!! Tonight's supper was spring greens, strawberries and my cottage cheese dressing.

This is what 7 lbs of fat looks like

Well, to put it into perspective, I am using butter packages to simulate the weight I'm losing... assuming I am losing fat. I'm losing inches, so believe I am.

Baby steps.. I'm doing the work.......

Well, I did lose another pound. PRAISE GOD!! So, actually lost 7 lbs since last Tuesday, so 7 lbs in 6 days. Can't complain about that. Yet this is difficult.. I really want to see DRASTIC numbers because I'm so big. Should be more impact. That's the attitude I must work on. I continually think of how MUCH I have to lose... not about the changes I AM making. BABY STEPS!!

The drops work. I know that. I took them a couple hours ago, and was really hungry.. I SHOULD be; it was morning. But there is no breakfast on this. I have not eaten, only coffee, and I'm less hungry.

I don't want to take my official measurements until Friday, the morning of the day I go back to the doctor, but I was just curious. So, I just took a couple of measurements of basic spots and have lost inches. I NEED to think about that. Must work on my butter box visual.

I hope and believe today will be great. I need to get it together.

I'M DOING THE WORK!!! Lord, please bring the results. And give me wisdom if I am doing something wrong.

What am I?? A wimp???

Such a difficult day. I have only lost half a pound in two days. To be THIS big, and THIS hungry and to NOT see results on the scale? That sucks. I thought I was positive enough this wouldn't matter... since I know I MUST lose over time.... But it got to me today. But I didn't quit... I stuck with it. Drank more water today.. haven't had enough the last couple of days.. don't know what affect it will have.

Other diets definitely seem like a piece of cake compared to this. EVERYTHING seems like a piece of cake compared to this. OH, Lord, I feel you are in this. Can I do this? Can I really change? Can I have life and have it abundantly? Am I going to see results?? What am I doing wrong? Or is it anything? God you have to help me...  (even more than you OBVIOUSLY are). I don't want to LOSE the affect of this eating  this way for a week has on me. That would seem like a SERIOUS mistake.  Help me figure this out Lord.... without you I can't do this!!

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Something new!!

Trying to be creative. Had fresh tomatoes not so good for eating fresh. I decided to stick them in the food processor, add spices including chili powder, thaw out hamburger patties already cooked, chop them up and add to the tomatoes. Making my own chili. I think that will be really great. Making two servings... it will have the one serving of veggie and meat. But will be warm and tasty. I like meat, don't get me wrong, and I DO have huge full tenderloins in the fridge right now, but I just couldn't bear to eat a solid piece of meat tonight. We'll see how it goes. Oh, and bought HUGE apples!! Yum!!

So, chili ended up being delicious... can't quite eat it all though, getting full. It is spicy. Missing piece was "sweetness", usually sugar is added to tomato products to break some acid, so I am used to the flavor. So, added a little sweetleaf and it hit the spot. Also tried melba toast for first time, and the grissini bread. Not much at all, but gave it a shot.

Chili from fresh tomatoes and ground sirloin.

Bought some crab meat. Going to try to do something with that. I just have a hard time biting into hunks of meat twice a day. Will have to continue to be creative. Gotta plan well for tomorrow... singing at church so am up at 5, not home until 1 or so, so will need plenty of food.

Perspective

I lost half a pound , (was one pound BEFORE I went to the bathroom.. not sure how that happened) but anyway, I felt a little discouraged by that because I'd like to keep losing 1.5-2 a day.  But really, one day doesn't make a difference. I am eating right, it will show up. At the same time I have lost SIX POUNDS IN FOUR DAYS!!! I need to celebrate that. I guess I am just so hungry that it seems forever since I've just been able to eat much... but it has only been 5 days. I assume the hunger will get to be less. Also 6 lbs out of about 120 just doesn't seem like much. But it is!!

I am trying to get butter or margarine packages to make a visual of just what a few pounds LOOKS like. I think that will help. Going to go get tenderloin this morning, so I get that for supper. Will get BIGGER apples... maybe some strawberries. The pork Kevin loves is on sale. Probably make that for him this weekend to freeze so he has it when he wants it. Even though lean, I can't have it.

Lots of housework to do. Trying NOT to think about food, but that is difficult. I am meeting a friend for coffee later, and it will be close to lunch time. It is not as easy anymore to just do that. I have to take fruit or chicken with me so I have something. Ok.. enough whining!!

Change my perspective Lord. I am grateful. I can do this!! Bring me encouragement today Lord in some surprising ways!! Please??? Dumb to ask that. I need to encourage myself. Ok. Now to get on with the day.

So far....

What I don't like is feeling hungry. (In five DAYS I have only had approx 2077 calories... FIVE DAYS!!!) What I do like is that I am not weak. I have health issues that make me tired all the time, but outside of the normal tired, esp from not sleeping, another constant problem, I feel fine. You'd think I'd be light headed, weak, confused, lots of things.  But I'm not. What I don't like is the limited tastes, textures and options. What I do like is the weight that keeps coming off.

I also like how mu jeans feel. I had HOPED that this morning I'd put them on and they'd be loose. C'mon... what was I thinking... after only losing 5.5 lbs? Not realistic. BUT I realized that, while not LOOSE.... they are not uncomfortable. USUALLY I have to unbuckle them when sitting very long or if I want to lean forward. Or I really hurt. But I'm not uncomfortable. Life's little pleasures. I get to wear jeans every Friday, and outside of that, unless I am forced to because I am embarrassed by my sweats, I DON'T wear them. So, NEXT Friday, I'm hoping for LOOSE!!!

I also go to the doctor next Friday afternoon. I hope she sees changes. Several women at work have commented. One said she could see it in my face. Another said she could tell when I was walking away. (funny). Two others just said I looked really good. WHAT??? Time will tell. But all of these things, and WRITING them, will add up to a NEW ME!!

I will work on recipes to USE the various things I can eat rather than just eating them as is. That will help. I just didn't have the time yet to do that. Working on cleaning the house this weekend (three day weekend) and more food prep. Getting the tenderloin tomorrow.

Well, back to the movie. I just had to write this. More water too!!

Not a SMALL victory.... a HUGE victory!!!!

I blogged that yesterdays victory was a SMALL victory. But in talking to one of the other women today that are doing it with me, I realized it was  a HUGE victory. I don't usually fight that hard. On most diets you can mess up a tiny bit, after all, how much harm can a potato do? And then just start over... each day is new. But on this diet, it sets you WAAAAAAYYY back. I haven't had the strength before. I realize I DESERVE to be successful. So, what I called a SMALL victory was REALLY a HUGE victory.  Difficult and hard fought, but excellent!!! When we were talking about it, how I feel about myself now, and looking forward, I cried. So much emotion involved here.

Praise God for small victories!!

I got really sick yesterday around noon... vomitting a bit but VERY nauseous. I just couldn't fight it. When I get sick (you know.. your stomach hurts, you just feel incredibly awful) then I want mashed potatoes. They are warm, bland, filling; my go to comfort food. I soooooo badly wanted them yesterday. Or even a plain baked potato. But a potato can set you and your weight loss back by THREE DAYS!! I got encouragement from a friend who is also doing the diet right now so I stayed the course. I ate a little bit, but ONLY ate what I was allowed to have.

I was rewarded with a sense of satisfaction AND with another 1.5 lbs lost yesterday. (I lost 7 on Monday that I gained the previous two days, 2 each on Tuesday and Wednesday and 1.5 on Thursday, total of 5.5 in 3 days!!) Another friend thought it might be my body detoxifying. Probably so.

Today I still feel pretty crappy, but I am determined to see this through. Once I get past this phase, I'll be SOOOOO much better off. I do hope the 1.5-2 lbs a day will continue for another 10 days or so. I am such a large woman, that that is not unheard of. However, I will not be discouraged, dismayed or taken off course should the rate of loss change. It WILL just continue in whatever rate it should. As long as I do my part, the fat has to go. The SCIENCE behind why the drops work, and how your body holds and then releases the three types of fat is very interesting.

Believing God for more victories today. My stomach really hurts, but I'll just plug along. I really appreciate the encouragement many of you are giving me!! Bless you!!

Three days no sugar, wheat or grains

I felt BETTER after work today with only about 2 or so hours of sleep and at that time only have had 197 calories, than I do when I'm eating things that include sugar, wheat or other grains. There's obviously something to this.

Yes, I'm tired, and going to bed early, but I can feel a difference. That surprised me, not that it happened, I hoped this would be the case, but because it has been YEARS since I've not had sugar, wheat or grains. Nice!! 

DAY 3 ON THE ALIEN PLANET!!!

Well, I am hungry... not surprised... the calorie total is very small, but I am not having the expected sugar or carb cravings or withdrawal symptoms like I expected. No headaches, etc. God is sooo good. I am not allowed to have Nyquil and last night I only slept about 2 hours. Not sleeping can derail weight loss, so the woman who has done this before thinks I could probably take it, since so little sugar, and would be better off sleeping. So, I may do that and see what happens. Oooooo stomach growl!!

Losing weight every day certainly is encouraging, but I know it is mostly water right now. Not discouraged at all about that. The true test will be putting on my jeans on Friday and seeing how they fit. That will be cool. I ASSUME they will be looser.

Boss had surprise lunch for the senior managers today. I had my lunch with me, but had to improvise. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings, which has a lot of chicken. The server was AMAZING working with me. I ordered a small naked chicken breast, grilled, no oil, no seasoning (since I don't know what is in it) but they don't have broccoli or other vegetables except for salad but I can't have dressing. So I ordered celery. (Can't even eat the carrots she brought me.. but how sweet of her) I have never thought celery was for human consumption (although I did buy some the other day, knowing I'd eat it) but it was sweet and crunchy. Delicious. I ate them and a portion of the chicken that looked the right size since I couldn't measure it. My co-workers are very supportive... obviously I can't hide what I'm doing, nor do I want to. I'm being bold and out there, believing this is the only thing for me at this time.

Overall, I am pleased with the grace God is giving me and helping me to be successful. I have a LOOOOOOONG way to go and know it could be a rough journey, but I take each victory as it comes.

Kevin is very supportive too, and knows that I can cook for both of us at times, but at other times I can't. He is pretty self sufficient. Well, off to complete the rest of my day.... BRING ON THE ENERGY, I'm pooped!!!

Dear diary....... who took my food???

Trying to be funny... but I'M HUNGRY!! But that is ok. I know it will get better. I was so very hungry in the middle of the night. BUT the 7 lbs I gained the fat loading 48 hours (mostly water I assume) were ALL lost on day ONE of the regular diet.

I just keep repeating to myself why I'm doing this. I hurt so bad because of my posture that has to compensate for the huge belly. I can do this. Because God is in it!!! Ok. Short and sweet. Not very many calories yesterday, but today is even less. Onions have the most calories of the veggies I can have.. Guess I'll start eating more onions!!! Oops... time for a meeting!!! Later.

Day one on the new planet :-)

Well, I gained quite a few pounds in the 48hours leading up to this morning. But I guess that is supposed to happen. I have had the sum total of 417 calories today (after I finish my orange in a few minutes). Lots of water, and lots of ice tea. I have been a little hungry, but not like you would think. Not feeling too bad really. I think tomorrow will be great too.

Got more chicken cubed up, but not cooked yet. I think some cubed chicken with cooked broccoli would be delicious. Later this week I think. (Will cook as I want it probably.)  Individually portioned Kevin's hamburger up too, and portioned and cooked some steak. Tenderloin should be in at Cub on Wednesday. That will be good.

First day down!! Tomorrow is a new day!!

1 Corinthians 9:27a   I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should.

Twas the night before..........

Twas the night before my first
day of restricted food-
and all through my mind
not a worry was found.
The confidence rose
to encourage me all around
and I believe
Jesus will make everything sound.
Ok, ok. So I'm not a poet.
I am excited to start my new life.
Do I think it will be smooth sailing?
Well, not necessarily, but I believe God will give me strength to get through. And do my best. I will do MY part... He'll do his!!

It all starts when I wake in the morning. I have some of the meat cooking now and will freeze it in just a bit.

Good night old me!!

New EVERY morning!!

The only way I will be successful on ANY level is the blessing of the Lord. I will depend on him for every second (no different than I do now, but will specifically include this new diet as a prayer focus). Before I began God seemed to remind me of this:

Lamentations 3:21-25

²¹ Yet I still dare to hope
    when I remember this:

²² The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
    His mercies never cease.
²³ Great is his faithfulness;
    his mercies begin afresh each morning.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
    therefore, I will hope in him!”

²⁵ The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
    to those who search for him.  

AMEN TO THAT!!! UTTER DEPENDENCE ON MY CREATOR, SAVIOR AND LIVING HOLY SPIRIT.... THE TRIUNE GOD, THERE FOR ME EVERY SECOND!! 

I WANT TO LIVE LIFE AND LIVE IT ABUNDANTLY!!!  

JOHN 10:10 ¹⁰ The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.  

So, here we go!!! Thanks for reading my posts!! Humbly trusting God!!

"The Plan" basics

http://www.intermountainhcg.com/ 

This really is just a journal for me, and my doctor. So, not really hoping too many people read this. Thinking the drastic measures could bring out negative thinking. My doctor is on board with this, and I will be seeing her every few days to weeks. Labs were done before I started, and will be done periodically. Also will be seeing her to manage medications.

I am doing the HCG diet. It is drops that are the hormone, and increase the production in my body. It releases fat while I eat 500 calories a day for 6 weeks. It is SPECIFIC foods..... at specific times:

• An apple, orange or strawberries. 1 Serving eaten 6 hours apart. (Half a grapefruit too, but I hate grapefruit)
• 3 1/2 ounces of ONE vegetable twice a day. The ones I will choose from are cabbage, green beans, lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, broccoli and cauliflower.. can't remember what else... 
• 3 1/2 ounces of VERY lean meat twice a day. My choices are chicken breast, 95% ground sirloin, for now sirloin steak because the tenderloin didn't come in yet. When it comes in, it will be the tenderloin.
• Water, tea, coffee, two diet sodas a day (probably not do that) and juice of one lemon. 
• Also 1 T skim milk a day in coffee if desired. 
• CAN substitute fat free cottage cheese for the protein. I also hate cottage cheese, but think I might try blending it up with strawberries and some stevia and possibly apple cider vinegar to make a "dressing" for my lettuce or cabbage. 
• They say you aren't hungry on this because of the fat released by the hormone and something else in the drops. I have two friends doing it now, and one of them has done it before and has a tiny bit to lose. Her mom has done it too. They say it is actually HARD sometimes to even eat the little bit you HAVE to eat.
• You do that for 6 weeks, then do the maintenance phase for 6 weeks, and can then do it again.

The first two days on the drops are "fat loading" days... to stave off hunger in the first few days. I have been doing that. Monday, the 21st is day 3 of drops, day one of restricted eating. Believe it or not, I'm looking forward to it. Tomorrow I am having strawberries, cucumbers, burger during the day. Cauliflower, steak and orange in evening. Lots of tea and water.

I do plan to do it for at least 2 times, and then switch over to the "Wheat Belly" diet. But might do more times than that depending on how it goes.

You CAN'T exercise during the phase WITH the drops, but MUST exercise during the maintenance phase without the drops.

Maintenance is this:

• First week, same foods but in increased amount
• Second week you can eat all meat, vegetables and fruit.
• Third week you add eggs, nuts and dairy.
• Fourth week you can add back sugar, flour, etc. (Memory right now.)
• If at any point during this phase you GAIN weight, you go back to the previous weeks diet.

I don't want to add flour because of the wheat, but I'll do according to Wheat Belly. I am also using Melaluca vitamins so they are great quality and easily absorbed and utilized by my body. Doc will stay on top of any changes in my body and any missing things that I will need.

More journal for me than info for anyone else

Well, I have decided that since I don't know any better anyway, that I am going to do this my way. This will be so much easier than hand writing all the parts of my journey.

(These pictures make me sad. )

So, in order to know how far I GET to from where I begin, I have to describe where I am now. 

• Have about 120 lbs to lose. I won't be sharing my weight or measurements here, but I DO have them written down.  
• I move around like a REALLY old woman because I am in so much pain. I have to hunch over in the morning as I roll out of bed until I can reach the dresser to use it to try to stand up. My back is excruciatingly painful all the time, but esp in the morning. 
• My knees hurt, exp my right one. I can't go up the stairs like a normal person. I have to use railings to pull myself up, stepping up with the left leg first usually, then the right leg up to the same step. There is no alternating steps for me.
• I can only walk about 5 minutes (at slow pace) before my hips hurt. I can get breathless just carrying groceries from the sidewalk about 30 feet to the picnic table for Kevin to take up the steps into the house. (A few trips back and forth, not just one)
• I'm too weak to carry much, but don't have that part measured. I just know I can't lift much.
• I am so exhausted that I can go to work, and then have to come home and SIT!! 
• I don't have the energy to clean house or go up and down the stairs to do laundry.
• The thought of cooking no longer interests me because of the energy it takes.
• I have insomnia and have to take off brand Nyquil every night to try to sleep. And that doesn't always help, but certainly better than nothing at all.
• I don't want to leave the house because the effort it takes to get in and out of the car. It hurts too bad. Getting ready to go out also requires too much.
• I would love to walk JayMe, but no energy.
• I DO love to exercise... but have I mentioned the pain and exhaustion??
• I hate the way I look. I always want to hide.
• Getting up off of furniture is an embarrassment.
• Imaging how I look when I move just breaks my heart.
• I can't see the floor because of my huge stomach.
• I can't really bend over properly because my stomach gets in the way.
• Even sitting is a problem since my stomach has to go SOMEWHERE.. like between my legs.
• I always look like I'm disinterested based on body language experts because I have to cross my arms just to keep them from hanging wildly at my side. I have to "hold" them together to be comfortable. The fat on the sides is the problem.
• And forget the freedom of amusement park rides or just walking with friends. Or just comfortably scooting into a booth or picnic table.
• Just lifting up my knee to get over a bench to sit down at picnic table is not possible.
• Renting a bike or one of those little car/bike things at Minnehaha falls is out of the question... but wouldn't that be fun?
• I have diarrhea about 60-70% of the time.
• I have serious brain fog and memory issues.
• Sinus trouble too. I have no idea how much my diet affects, so I"m trying to write EVERYTHING to then see if anything changes.
• Dry skin all over my body,
• Hair thinning and dry.
• Always hungry. Crave sweets and any flour based items.

What do I HOPE to be like in 3 months?

• Lose weight quickly. (45 lbs) Esp stomach. (lots)
• Be into my LESS fat clothes so my wardrobe increases just because I can wear what I already have.
• Lose inches. (lots)
• Reduce cravings.
• Less pain.
• Sleep more easily.
• Less fatigue.
• Be able to walk 30 minutes at a time during the maintenance phase after my first round of HCG. AT least 4 days a week. 
• Ride my stationery bike 4 days a week during the maintenance phase after my first round of HCG. Do it while watching TV.
• Use the exercise equipment in basement.
• Increased activities when I come home from work.. clean house, go places. 
• Walking Jayme every day.

What do I HOPE to be like in 6 months?

• Lose about 70 lbs total from beginning.
• Be into size 18 maybe? Not sure about that.
• Be able to walk stairs like normal person.
• Exercise 6 days a week including cardio and weights.
• Able to sit comfortably.
• Lose cravings.
• Skin not dry. Hair stronger.
• Sleeping soundly.
• Energy. 
• Able to hop in car to go someplace.
• Increased interest in outside activities.
• Breathing easier.
• Confident that I don't look like a moose moving.
• Just be able to get UP off of a chair or couch.
• Bending over to tie shoes or pick something up.
• Doing more, sitting less.
• Walking Jayme longer and further.
• Take a walking or biking  tour to see the leaves in the fall when they are at their best.

And so it begins!!!

Well, this will be short and sweet. I have no idea what I am doing yet, but I am starting a whole new "protocol", diet. I want to BE new..... so I have to make changes. 

I don't have time yet today to write much, but stay tuned..... I will have my journey on here!!